Thanks

I stare at fairy-tale-worthy-cliffs just after hearing a harp player sing and strum. I ache as I experience the throes of PMS. I wash the bathroom floor. I cry for a friend who has experienced a deep loss. These are all things that I have experienced in this life. Mundane things, unbelievable things, annoying things, hard things: these events make up our days on this earth.

In the midst of all of this, it is important that we thank the Lord.  In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, it says: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Being thankful is hard in a lot of situations. It is hard, of course, in the trying times. But it can also be hard when things are going well. We often don’t stop to thank the Lord when we experience something beautiful.

On a recent vacation, I saw the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland. It was a last minute decision to go visit them. A funny Irishman told us we could not leave until we saw them. So we got in the car and did just that.

After going up several stairs, I heard the strumming of a harp and this woman singing. She was sitting to the side of the stairs with the majestic instrument nestled between her legs. Just above her you could see the cliffs: Bright green grass shines upon multi-colored rock. Water laps at the bottom, in and out. God, in his infinite wisdom, formed the greenery and stone and the water below, so that every part had its own shade and depth.

Incredible.

While I think I was thankful when I saw all of this, I don’t think I was praising HIM, the one who made it all.
Now, as I look at the pictures, all I can think is: Thank God. Thank God.

And Here We Are Again

    God gave me a brain. Thank you, God, for my brain. But can I ask you something, Lord? Can you fix this button up there in my amygdala? It's stuck. This cartoonish red button is stuck in the on position twenty four hours a day.
    Y'all, my panic button is never not pressed. The problem is that I try. I try so hard all the time. I think: If I don't always have this button pressed, everything just won't work.
    How ridiculous!  This is my flesh talking, of course, because I am not the one connecting mystical wires in the universe so that water weaves among rocks in the rapid and so that food fills the grocery stores.
    The Lord has been so gracious with me, though. He is teaching me about trust yet again. This is my 500th trust lesson, but he never gives up on me.
    In Romans 15:13, it says: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
    As Christians, we must trust our creator as we go about our days.

Sensitive Little Flower

Matthew 26:73-74: “After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, ‘Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.’ Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, ‘I don’t know the man!’ Immediately a rooster crowed.”

The red-faced, shy, pudgy girl raced to the table. She wanted to sit next to him. She thought that if she did, he might say or do something.

They ate in silence for a bit: her heart was a bobbing empty bottle on the ocean. Why does he just sit there?

Then he smiled: her bottle heart was a new boat now: freshly-painted and sturdy, able to take on the waves.

Years later, she still has the same heart.

It’s hard not to be controlled by the approval or disapproval of others.  It helps to know that Jesus experienced personal rejection. The Lord is denied by his disciple, Peter, three times.  This was a man who was a close friend of Jesus. 

I am a sensitive person who often crumbles when rejected by those I love. I am tempted to think that I am not full unless I have the approval of everyone.  In 1 Corinthians 10:13, the Lord says:  “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

This is the way out: Let your heart be consumed by the Lord. Depending on the approval of others won’t work. Float confidently in the Father’s loving hands.

 

Pricks

My fingers are shaking. The glucose monitor flashes the error message: E-4. What does it mean? I grab another alcohol pad and wipe his finger, so I can get another reading. Ben looks at me. His blue eyes are wide and knowing: “Relax, Mrs. Hilary,” he says. He told me what I needed to hear. I felt so frustrated, so stressed…so weak.

I will admit it. I don’t like feeling weak. I am the person who wakes up every morning armed with a to-do list of things that I must accomplish in order to feel more in control of the crazy.

But I’m not in control, and I hate that. Ben is one of three kids I take care of. He found out that he had Type 1 Diabetes before Christmas. He is handling it way better than I am.

Recently, I have been learning about glucose testing, carbohydrate counting and injecting an insulin pen.  I have learned that you have to squeeze real tight on a fingertip to get a good blood drop, then wipe it, drop it and squeeze again.  I have learned there are a lot of carbohydrates in a banana (more than I cared to know were in there), and I have learned that if you prick yourself by accident with an insulin needle that you will be okay. True story…

The work week before New Year’s Day was tough. And I now face a new year with more pricks than I care to think about.

But Ben’s words brought me down to the ground where I should be.  And I have found myself meditating on a verse that has been both comforting and convicting, 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”